They met in
college and dated for their final two years.
He was a long way from home. His
parents didn’t have enough money to visit during the school year so he never
got the chance to introduce her to them.
Consequently, the surprise was even bigger, the disappointment
greater.
They fell deeply
in love. They studied together and were
rarely apart, except on weekends when she went home to work. She never mentioned him to her family, afraid
that they would ask her about him and knowing how they would react. They would want to see pictures and she knew
that they would demand an immediate breakup.
He learned about her and about her background. He worked to understand her beliefs and her
culture, how she had developed her opinions.
They adored each other in spite of their vast differences.
He told her
of his own childhood and how his had only first been exposed to her culture at
sixteen, how he had kept shaking the young boy’s hand, fascinated, wanting to
touch him, to see how his skin felt, trying to discover a difference. His family was deeply embedded in its own
culture and he had rarely had the chance to get to know a different one. And now, he wanted to spend the rest of his
life with someone so completely outside of his own world.
Graduation
day arrived. His parents and
grandparents came to the ceremony, so proud to see their son in cap and
gown. Her parents were there as well,
excited for their girl who was the first to get a university degree. Their families still had not met, or heard of
the relationship.
They decided
to spring the wonderful surprise of their engagement on graduation day. Both were nervous, knowing that they might
face some negative reactions and yet forever hopeful that everything would go well.
The plan was
to meet at a local restaurant, sit at adjoining tables and introduce each
other. He arrived last, family in tow,
and took the table next to hers. He
brushed her shoulder as he walked by, smiling at her. His parents noticed and shook their heads as
they sat. In a loud whisper, his
grandmother asked “How can you know someone like that? And why are they allowed in this restaurant?” He was shocked at her disgust. His parents nodded in agreement, barely
containing their anger.
Finally,
though, he signaled to her that it was time.
They both stood and moved together, ready to make the announcement. Both family tables became silent as they
watched them take each other’s hands.
“Mom, Dad,” he said. “This is
Sarah. I’ve been dating her for the last
two years and we are engaged to be married.”
A shocked
silence followed. His grandmother stood,
almost knocking over the table. “You
will NOT do this as long as I am alive,” she shouted. “My grandson will never have a Liberal as a
wife!”
Her family
stood. Her father sneered at his
grandmother and said, “Don’t worry. It
will never happen. Your kind will never
share our table, our home or a scrap of food with us.”
They turned
and hurried out of the restaurant, their daughter in tow. She looked back with tears in her eyes. That was the last that they saw of each other
for many years.
“Seriously?”
you ask.
Think about
it. In our haste to make sure that
everyone has to get along with everyone else, we seem to have forgotten that we
are all essentially human, that opinions divide us far too often. In fact, they divide us far more often than
race, culture and country. Amazing, isn’t
it? And sort of silly in my own personal
universe.
With that in
mind, I wish you a Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, and happy holidays.
